Honestly, I’m really hurt by the situation.
This isn’t exactly what I expected.
It was a negative evening.
I just wanted to stay home.
I didn’t want to go.
But I did anyways.
And that just made the night worse.

I can’t just trust random people off the street.
It’s taken me three long years to finally feel like I can trust you.
And then you decide to leave.

Its one thing when someone leaves because they don’t have something here.
But you do have something here.
Something here that is pretty darn amazing.
Something here that needs you more then you think you know.

I can’t blame you.
I can’t yell at you.
I can’t be mad at you.
I can’t even talk to you because what I have to say-
What I have to feel-
Would hurt you just as much as it hurts me to have to write this.

I feel like I’ve been stabbed.
With a dagger.
In the heart.
And tomorrow-
I won’t want to wake up because of it.

Maybe the truth is-
I shouldn’t be mad at you.
What did you really do?
But why?
I don’t understand.
I’m not ready to wrap my mind about this.
And I thought when the day came to,
You’d be here to explain.

I still don’t understand.
I’m still confused.
What’s going to happen?
I need an answer.
I need one now.
You’ve left me with too many questions.
And no one to answer them.

You have no idea how much I wanted to say something to you tonight.
I wanted to more than anything else in the world.
I wanted to tell you what I was thinking.
And I wanted to hear you say that everything is going to be okay.

But its not.
I know its not going to be okay.
It will never be okay from here on out.
It will never be the same.
Not now, not never.
No matter what happens-
This as we know it-
Will never be back.

I really am going to miss you.
Everything in my heart wants me to scream.
I’d do anything to make you stay.

I can’t seem to put enough words in this to tell you how I feel.
I’ll collect my tears in a bucket.
For you.
And maybe someday-
Just maybe-
I’ll understand you.